Welcome to the psychiatric hot line..
If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are a co dependant, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are a paraniod delusional, we know who you are and what you want,just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are a phobic, don't press anything.
If you are anal retentive, please hold.
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